Stupid Noble Husband
by these-epicnights
Summary: James is out on an Order mission and he's overdue. How does a newly pregnant Lily deal? LJ. Post Hogwarts for MWPP. rated for Language and semigraphicness


I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW!!! I really need to work on ((Changes of those we thought we knew)) but this kept popping up in my head... A few things to note: these are Lilys thought so yes they are meant to be very disjointed and not making much sense. Also I was going to put more in about the wedding/proposal/that part of the relationship but there is a semi-companion fic i am semi writing to go along with this so yes...ALSO this is in NO WAY realated to ((Changes of those we thought we knew)). Just a random fic.  
ENJOY!  
AH disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot

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James is late.

He's never late. He's James fucking Potter. If he says he will be back by Christmas and safe he will be back by Christmas. He's been gone for… 7 days? Weeks? Months? Years? No defianatly days, it just feels longer. Sirius came and saw me this morning… said it was the 22nd. God James is so protective I'm surprised Sirius hasn't moved in with me for the time being. James left on the 16th. The last thing he said to me before he grabbed the port key was,

"I love you. I'll be home for Christmas".

Sirius and I were both mad at Dumbledore for letting James go. It was meant to be a simple recon for Edward Bones and Marlene McKinnon. But two days before they were meant to head out to Wales Marlene showed up dead.

Stupid noble husband. He offered to go with Ed, then Sirius said no…and I said no…then Sirius and I offered to go instead of Ed, but James wouldn't hear of it. Bloody heroic husband. And we haven't heard from him since the day he arrived, no one, not even Sirius which actually worries me more than me not hearing from him. This is the longest that I haven't heard from him since… well since seventh year when we started going out. Huh… I haven't thought about that in a long time. James is very fond of saying I just fell into bed with him… which is technically true. Idiotic smart husband.

It was the last weekend before the Easter holidays, well past midnight. I had been up late studying for NEWTS. (in hindsight I was slightly excessive) I had fallen asleep in front of the fire. I don't know what he was doing in the common room that late, or how long I'd been asleep before he found me but he did. I don't know _exactly _what happened, he still won't tell me after all, but I remember being in his arms, with my arms around his neck as he started toward my dorm but then had to take me up to his dorm. He put me in his bed and climbed into the other side, trying to keep as much distance between us as possible. Like he had been for the entire year. The only interaction we had been having was the rare conversation about Heads duties and the odd looks I sometimes caught him giving me (he still denies those). The next thing I knew it was the early stages of morning, the smallest amount of light was waltzing thought the windows. Sometime in the night I had rolled over so that I was now facing him, with my head against his chest, with his arm draped over me casually, as if we always were like that. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew he wasn't like that on purpose so I couldn't be mad at him. My first cognitive thought was 'We fit', my second was 'Bollocks he's awake'.

But before I could say anything he leapt out of bed and ran down to the common room. Confused as hell I followed. When I got to the bottom of the stairs I could see him in the common room pacing, murmuring and running his hand through his hair making it stand up on end, even more than normally. I can remember thinking clearly 'Merlin he looks gorgeous when he does that.' He saw me at the bottom of the stairs.

"Evans… I am so sorry; I don't know what I was thinking. I just… last night and you were over there" he wildly gestured toward the fire "and I don't know …I just couldn't help myself. I just…I mean…" he trailed off realising there was nothing else to say. We stood there staring at each other for what seemed like hours.

"I…why have you been ignoring me? Do you hate me because I wouldn't date you?" Oh well done, accuse the boy at 6 am. He slowly turned away from the window and crossed the room in what seemed like two steps. I hadn't realised how tall he was before that moment. I was still standing on the bottom step but I still had to look up to meet his eyes. I stumbled a bit when I saw what was in his eyes.

Love. Not the expected lust, or the usual amusement or the disappointed anger that I usually caused. But pure love. He grabbed my forearms to stop me from falling. Then dropped them as soon as he realised what he had done. When he finally spoke his voice was strangled and forced;

"Evans…how could you think that? I don't hate you. I could never hate you. I just thought that this year…if I distanced myself I wouldn't you know… like you so much." Then I realised. I had missed him. And now I was falling in love with him. This was the man that I wanted to be with.

Fuck.

Then suddenly my hands were around his neck and his hands were on my hips and his tongue was running over my lips and I was moaning, then my hands were up his shirt and I was back up against the wall and his hands were cradling my face and in my hair tipping my head back. It was one of those perfect kisses that people dream of having and spend their whole life hoping they will find someone who will kiss them like that. Then James broke the kiss abruptly. He rested his forehead on mine and had his hands on either side of my face. I still remember our chests heaving against each other as we tried to catch our breath. I remember him locking his eyes with mine and asking in breathless wonder

"What the hell was that?"

"That was your genius plan backfiring. I think I'm falling in love with you"

At this point everything sort of blurs. I do remember going to breakfast with wonderfully bruised lips. Since then we've seen (or at the very least owled) each other every day. He keeps saying it took him long enough to catch me he's not going to let me go that easily. Bloody romantic husband.

Sirius and Remus were so welcoming. They're like my brothers now. Sirius even offered to walk me down the aisle at our wedding but both James and Dumbledore stepped in. James said that the best man cant give the bride way and Dumbledore offered to walk me down the aisle, which made sense seeing as there was no way Vernon would have been caught within two miles of my wedding and both my parents had died just after we had gotten engaged.

God its seven o'clock, I can hear the bells from the muggle church in the valley. I must have been up all night thinking. This January is mine and James' third wedding anniversary – almost 5 years since we've been together. Sirius and Remus are apparently planning a large (epic, as they are fond of calling it) party for us. Once Marauders always Marauders I guess. But I suppose it wont mean much if James doesn't come back… NO I will not think like that… I'm going to be strong. He will come back for me…and the baby. Merlin I only just found out…I haven't even told him yet. Less than two months along…that would be Halloween. Oh bugger Halloween. That was…memorable. We had been to a party that Sirius held. Remus went as a werewolf. There were so many vague jokes to that. Sirius went as a muggle Superhero (that was particularly amusing after a few firewhiskeys). James went as the giant squid (supposedly a reference to me yelling at him in fifth year after the DADA exam) and I went as a banshee. None of us had seen Pete in a while, I think he cleared out and went up North for a while…something about his father being sick. We ended up in bed at about 1am with tentacles and fake hair all tangled…God that was an interesting night. Foolish, creative husband.

Shit… there's some one at the door. Oh it's just Sirius. Oh god he doesn't look happy.

"Lil…I've got news, uh news about James." Oh my god has he been crying?! Sirius Black doesn't cry. Oh god, oh god, oh god…

"Um…They've found Ed…in some bushes…um…He's dead Lils. And no one can find James…" Oh god, oh god, oh god… he's looking at me…waiting for my answer. I cant answer him. Oh god, my throat is closing up, there are tears at the corners of my eyes…I won't cry, if I cry then he's dead…oh FUCK!

"Sirius… he's alive right…he'll be fine right? I mean its James. He said he would be back for Christmas! Damn it he said it would be OK." Oh god, oh god, oh god…

"Yeah Lils, I'm sure he'll be fine…Its just Ed was… well you know what sort of a wizard he was… and no one can find James. There's no sign of him at the house either."

"Who…who found Ed?" oh god…this isn't happening. Oh god, oh god, oh god…

"His sister Amelia. She was worried and so she went with Dumbledore to Wales to check it out and when they got there the cottage they were staying in… they haven't been there in days Lily… are you…are you ok?" He's looking at me with pity, but it can't be pity, Sirius must feel the exact same as me…He's lost the most important thing in his life, like me. DAMN IT! James is fine. He has to be. Oh god, oh god, oh god…

"Oh God Sirius" I'm about to say why weren't we asked to go but suddenly there's bile coming up my throat "Shit I'm going to be sick" I have to run to the kitchen sink and only just make it. I sense Sirius behind me rubbing my back.

"Lily I know…I'm worried too, but don't get too worked up about it right? It's James Potter! He'll be fine" But even I can hear the uncertainty in his voice. I'm about to answer him but instead I throw up again. Unexpectedly Sirius stops rubbing my back.

"Oh Fuck Evans…" I laugh a little realising he figured it out.

"I'm pregnant"

"Bugger. You know if he doesn't come back I may have to find him and kill him again myself." I can tell he's just trying to make me feel better and it works a bit. Then it hits me. If James doesn't come back I'm all alone. With a baby. FUCK! I slowly slid down till I'm on the kitchen floor crying like hell, great big sobs that wrack my body… Oh god, oh god, oh god…

"You know Lily…I'm going to go back to Hogwarts to see if Dumbledore knows anything else... and maybe find Remus. See what I can do?" I lift my head and smile weakly. He grins back and appartates with a sudden 'pop'.

I don't know how long I stay on the floor crying…but it must have been hours…suddenly its dark and there's no noise outside. I must have fallen asleep on the floor. Wait…footsteps in the yard. I grab my wand and venture toward the front door. But before I get to it, it opens on its own.

Oh holy Merlin its James, my stupid, smarmy, noble, idiotic, cocky, romantic, bastard of a husband. Oh god, oh god, oh god…

Tears rake trough my body as I take in the sight of him, his face is bruised and cut, his wand arm has a trail of dried blood down it. Oh god, oh god, oh god… Simple recon my ass. I think I'm going to faint but he catches me.

"Hey…Hey…Lily…babe it's ok, I'm back." Suddenly I realise the implications of this and remember how angry I am at him… I start to pound his chest speaking incoherently through sobs.

"Late…Stupid…Idiot…how much we missed you!" he's just standing there taking it all…smug wonderful husband. Then I just don't have the energy to fight anymore… I collapse into his arms…still crying and he's whispering into my hair as he holds my shaking body up against him. Once I calm down a bit he lets me go a bit and looks at me.

"Still as beautiful as the day I left." And once more his hands are in my hair tilting my head up, with my hands up his shirt trying to get it off him; he stops for a second to allow me to rip it off him. He lifts me up so my legs are around him; his hands sliding up my skirt, I'm clutching the back of his neck. He steers me up against the wall and I realise there's one thing I need to tell him.

Gently I break the kiss. Gasping to catch my breath I turn my head away so my cheek is against the wall. He leans up and places small kisses along my jaw bone and down the side of my neck.

"James…James. You know that I hate you right now?" he chuckles.

"Yes babe and I love you too" Bloody arrogant wonderful husband.

"Yes…and babe, listen to me… I'm pregnant." He stops so swiftly I think he's going to drop me but he lets me slid down so my feet are on his.

"Are…you I mean you're sure?" I nod and he shakes his head incredulously

"When did you find out? When are you due? Does any one else know?" He's in shock…Bloody brilliant.

"I only found out a few days. I'm due the end of July. Which if you count back is Halloween" I smirk as he looks up at the ceiling and lets out a breath in wonder. "And it's only you me and Sirius who know"

"SIRIUS KNOWS?!"

"He figured it out today. When he came over to say they had found Ed's body and no one could find you" He at least has the decency to look sheepish.

"Well" he says into my neck "Just so long as the baby doesn't start to call him Daddy I'm fine with that. Only now I expect he'll have to be Godfather." As he starts to undo his belt buckle I roll my eyes at my magnificent, jealous, loving husband.

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So? how was it. Please note that this was my first attempt at smut so be kind. Flames will just be used for S'mores 


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